Harper Valley

Wolf Shirt

 

This post is dedicated to B.Govern aka "Bee-Dot-Govern".  If it weren't for his Amazon.com review of a wolf shirt on that brisk November day, my life would have never changed. 

In case you're not familiar with wolf power, I'll give you a quick rundown.  It's mystical.  It's enigmatic.  You don't question it.  Rather, you embrace it and tuck it away in your soul. Or wear it on your chest in this case.   

B.Govern along with The Mountain Men have generously shared the wolf power with the world through their unique Three Wolf Moon cotton tee.  Sure, maybe it's a little itchy.  But isn't a brand new life worth $16.75? 

HERE'S THE REVIEW THAT STARTED IT ALL...

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women

Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark."

AND A FEW MORE FOR FURTHER CONFIRMATION....

"I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God."

"If Jack Bauer were to don the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, '24' would simply be renamed '1'."

"I ordered this to be cooler than I am already. Not a very tall order. This shirt is well-made of comfortable fabric and the printing is high-quality. If you look closely at the moon, you can see the shadow of the lunar lander. I named the wolves Brad, Kiki and Shoshone. Dogs cower in fear when they see me. Cats run. Women swoon. Children laugh."

While you're browsing the 1300+ customer reviews on Amazon, check out the 190 customer images uploaded by regular folks, just like you and me.   

 

Rumors of the wolf shirt's power quickly spread throughout my work office.  Naturally, we wanted in.  We wore our shirts in unison today to multiply our wolf power.  I can say without a doubt that it definitely worked.  I had a great day at work with the numbers to prove it. 

 

Here's the wolfpack striking our unique poses.  From left to right: Mary and I throw our best wolf gang signs {notice that my fingers form a W, with the middle two joined}.  Larry has pointy ears.  Rich is scratching his head as wolves often do. Chris and Josh's hands form the numbers 3 and 1 to symbolize three wolves, one moon.

 

 

 

Here's the pack again, happily welcoming our new lives.  We believe.  Do you?

 

 

Wedding Dance

Call me wacko, but this video totally made me CRY.  I was boo-hooing through the entire segment because I could feel the joy and love radiating through my screen.  Of course, I was laughing and grinning ear to ear while I was crying.  Want to feel warm and fuzzy for five minutes?  Watch this...

Bacon, Egg & Spinach Breakfast Stacks

In my quest to get healthier and drop some ell-bees, I've been hoarding veggies like the rapture's comin'.  So last week, I experimented with these savory breakfast stacks.  They're kinda like a Grand Slam in a cup sans pancakes.  I was pleased with the outcome.  Although, the recipe lacks any mention of salt and pepper.  It didn't occur to me that they'd be bland because of this..but they were.  I salted the potato water, and the Canadian bacon has some salt.  But they were still missing that special kick. Luckily, my two favorite spices are easy enough to sprinkle on top and they stacks looked a little fancier that way too. 

Since this recipe makes a dozen stacks, I stored them in the fridge and reheated them all week.  It felt so bizarre to have a hot breakfast.  Much heartier than my typical granola bar.

You could make these for breakfast or brunch.  You could also substitute different veggies or use real bacon.  And they're still tasty even when not piping hot.  Sure hope you savor them as much as I did.

Bacon, Egg & Spinach Breakfast Stacks

• 6 small red potatoes (about 12 oz)
• 9 oz fresh spinach (about 1.5 cups after cooking)
• 1 cup part-skim ricotta cheese
• 2 large eggs, beaten
• 2 TBSP fresh chives, chopped
• 6 slices Canadian-style bacon, quartered
• 1 cup low-fat shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place muffin liners in a 12-hole muffin tin.
2. Wash potatoes and boil until just cooked or just slightly undercooked, about 10-15 minutes. Cool immediately. Slice each potato into four rounds; set aside.
3. Saute spinach in a pan until just wilted, about 3-5 minutes; cool; drain well. Squeeze out all remaining water and set aside. Wringing it out in an old dish towel works well for this.
4. In a small bowl, combine ricotta cheese, eggs, and chives.
5. Place a middle slice of potato in the bottom of each muffin hole so it lays flat. Top each with a quarter-slice of bacon, 1 heaping teaspoon of ricotta cheese mixture, about 2 tablespoons of spinach, about one tablespoon of cheddar cheese, another bacon quarter, and another heaping teaspoon of ricotta mixture. Finish stacks by placing remaining potato slices on top and sprinkling with a few remaining shreds of cheese.
6. Bake stacks until fully set and ricotta is cooked through, about 30-35 minutes. Cool in muffin tins for about 10 to 15 minutes before transferring to racks for cooling.

This is a Weight Watchers recipe.  One stack = 3 points.

We the People...

 

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have."  ~Thomas Jefferson

Folks - there's some crazy stuff going on in Washington right now.  We're moving closer and closer to rationed health care, global carbon tax, and redistributions of wealth.  We the people want America back.  We want our personal liberties, free markets, and limited government.

A few facts about the new and not-so-improved Health care reform bill:

• It includes federal regulations on the rental of power-driven wheelchairs; new government rules on how providers are supposed to treat patients with dementia; and new regulations on smoking cessation, and everything in between. 
• There are multiple taxes included in the bill because the government will need to raise more than $1 trillion to pay for these new regulations.  
• The bill creates a new government-run health plan that will undercut the private market pushing as many as 119 million people out of their private health insurance and be forced into a Medicaid-like plan.  Employers will be pressed to drop their insurance benefits and send their employees over to the new government plan.  This provision doesn’t apply to Members of Congress, who will be able to keep their health plan.
• The bill will also create a new federal health board, a group of government bureaucrats that will decide whether your health care is effective or not, which could endanger your ability to receive the health care you need.  This board will decide whether your health care is "effective" or "appropriate."  According to Tom Daschle, the idea is based on Britain's model which has determined that one year of life is worth only $44,000.
• To pay for the new federal health board, there will be a new “fair share” tax imposed on everyone’s health insurance to raise $375 million needed for the new bureaucracy. The government has not yet decided what your portion will be. 
• There will be a new “tax on individuals without acceptable health care coverage.”  In other words, if your health insurance isn’t government-approved you will be taxed.

A few facts on the Uninsured:

• Out of the 47 million uninsured citizens, 14 million of them are eligible for Medicaid, but haven't signed up.
• An additional 27 million of them are not in dire financial straights and have annual incomes of $50,000. 
• Many of the uninsured are in between jobs and have chosen to temporarily go without insurance. 
• Two-thirds of the uninsured are between ages 18 and 34.  These folks, on average, have few health problems and are uninsured by choice.

A few facts on the American Clean Energy & Security Act:

• AKA Cap-and-Trade or Waxman-Markey.
• More and more scientists agree that the global warming war is misguided.
• Global hurricane activity is at a 50 year low.
• Climate change is not solely caused by man or by CO2 emissions.  There are other factors involved such as atmospheric and ocean processes that are unknown or not fully understood by scientists.
• This model has already failed in Europe.
• Developing countries such as China and India refuse to participate in this global governance.  Carbon caps in the US will raise the cost of doing business here compared to other countries that have no mandatory carbon policies (China, India, etc). So jobs and businesses will move overseas, most likely to China. This so-called “leakage effect” would tip the global economic balance in favor of China and other strategic competitors of the U.S.
• Who can blame China from swearing off carbon restrictions, in order to keep its economy growing and lift its people from poverty?  Foreign countries like them would enjoy a cost advantage in manufacturing if their industries were free to pollute, while American industries picked up the tab for controlling emissions.
• If the goal of cap-and-trade is to reduce global temperatures by reducing global greenhouse gas concentrations, and if other leading carbon emitters continue to emit at will, then how can this supposed “problem” be solved?
• If this Act passes, Utility companies would be required to purchase increasing percentages of their electricity from “renewable sources,” but they could meet these mandates, at least in part, by forcing their customers to reduce their energy usage. Those customers —- that is, every individual, family and business in the country —- also would be forced to change building codes in order to use less energy, change lighting systems employed in homes and outdoor areas, and buy more expensive “energy-efficient” appliances.
• The cost of this Act is in the trillions, and guess who's paying for that?  Bye bye tax refund.
• And don't even get me started on the death of the light bulb.  There's nothing I despise more than a poorly-lit, yellow-hued, overly-priced fluorescent.  And I'm still not sold on their alleged long life.  My incandescents last me for years. Unfortunately, this scam is already a law, so start hoarding those Reveal bulbs.

This post will surely piss some people off, but that's just too bad because it's my blog. 

Mwuahahahahah <<insert evil laugh here>>

Whether you agree with me or not on these issues..educate yourself.  Read.  Google.  Talk.   

What can you do?

• Contact your state Senators and Representatives.  Voice your opinion.  They're the ones voting on this legislation.  Not sure who yours are or how to reach them?  Click here.  Then click on your state.  You'll find a complete listing of your state reps along with phone/fax numbers and direct e-mail links.  It couldn't be easier. 

Resources:

• www.ncpa.org
• www.freeourhealthcarenow.com- sign the petition!
• http://www.energytomorrow.org/Take_Action_on_Climate_Bill.aspx
• www.climatedepot.com
• www.cato.org/special/climatechange/
• www.lp.org/blog
• http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=32502

P.S. I'm not suggesting we trash the earth and ignore health care reform.  But more balanced approaches must be explored.  We deserve it.  Our economy deserves it.

Polynesian Luau

 

Aloha!  My sister, Jill is visiting from Atlanta..and my other sister, Janet had a birthday this week.  So we celebrated island-style at Disney's Spirit of Aloha Dinner Show.  Upon arrival at the Polynesian Resort, we made our way through the jungle back to Luau Cove.  We were seated immediately, and the F&B started flowin'.  We feasted on tropical salad, coconut bread, fresh pineapple, chicken, BBQ ribs, rice pilaf, steamed veggies and a chocolate dessert.  Our meal also included bottomless beer/wine, so we took full advantage of that. 

A few times throughout dinner, the actors performed a running skit about life on the island.  That part was a bit cheesy, but the bottomless beer/wine made it all better.  After dinner, they got down to business with the traditional Polynesian dances.  Each time the male dancers graced the stage, Avery looked back as us grown folks with a grin and a giggle.  She had a look on her face as if to say...Am I allowed to watch these half-nekkid men?

 

The fire dance was the most intense for obvious reasons.  This guy was super brave.

 

I think Meagan won the award for "Most Fun Had".  She laughed and clapped her hands all night.  She made up songs, and was just really joyful.  The chefs at Disney did a great job with her allergen-free meal too.  She gnawed on those ribs like a champ.  At the end of the show, she even ran out on the stage with the other kids.  They all bounced around together.  That's her in the blue shirt, ribbons flying.

 

Look at that happy chica!

 

Here's the birthday girl.  Luckily she was in the restroom when they made all the birthday peeps do an embarrassing hula dance.

 

After the show, we wandered around the property and pretended like we were on vacation.  We took lots of pictures too.  Here's the whole gang...

The resort includes a man-made beach, so we dipped our toes in the water for a bit.  The girls were a little hesitant because they were scared of sharks.  I told them there are no sharks at Disney. You can see the Grand Floridian Resort and Wedding Pavilion in the background. 

 

I allowed Avery and Meagan to throw several handfuls of sand in the water.  Their mama didn't like that idea too much.  Whoops!  heehee

 

After the beach, Gus and Jill hit the lounge while the rest of us went for a monorail ride and watched the sunset.

 

We wrapped up the evening with more pictures.  Just girls in this one.

 

Aloha until next time...

German-Style Potato Salad

 

Another summertime fave for everyone --- Potato Salad, German Style.  I made this Weight Watchers recipe for a July 4th BBQ.  It was pretty good.  I highly recommend garnishing with the boiled eggs as they round out the texture and make the salad feel a little creamier.   I added parsley for the photo, but didn't serve it that way.  Just too grassy for me.  Blech.  I feel like cow chewing cud when I eat parsley.  Not sure why I keep forcing myself to eat it. 

German Style Potato Salad
	1-1/2 pounds uncooked red potatoes, unpeeled (about 14 small potatoes)
	3 oz Canadian-style bacon, finely chopped
	1 TBSP olive oil
	1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
	2 tsp arrowroot powder
	1 TBSP Splenda
	1 tsp salt
	1/2 tsp celery seed
	1/2 tsp dry mustard
	1/4 tsp black pepper
	2/3 cup water
	1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
	1 hard-boiled egg, grated (or more if desired)
	2 tbsp parsley, fresh, chopped - OPTIONAL

Instructions

• Cut potatoes into 1/4-inch-thick slices. Place potatoes in a pot; add enough water to cover potatoes. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, covered, until tender, about 15 minutes. Drain potatoes and allow to cool. Set aside.
• Meanwhile, cook bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until slightly brown, about 5 minutes. Remove from skillet; set aside.
• Add oil to same skillet; warm over medium heat until sizzling. Add onion; cook, stirring frequently, until tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in arrowroot, Splenda, salt, celery seed, dry mustard and pepper; cook about 1 minute. Add water and vinegar; stir and cook until thick and bubbly, about 1 minute. Stir in potatoes and bacon; toss to mix. Cook, stirring gently, until mixture is heated through, about 1 to 2 minutes more. Transfer to a serving bowl and garnish with egg and parsley.
• Yields about 8 half-cup servings.  Two points per serving. 

Notes

• Arrowroot powder is a thickening agent, similar to cornstarch.  You can usually find it at health food stores. 
• I substituted sugar for Splenda, and it was fine. 

Mini Key Lime Cups

 

Like most of you, I attended a Fourth of July BBQ yesterday.  I wanted to bring something refreshing and low-cal.  Summer just screams for citrus food, so I decided on the good ole classic Key Lime Pie.  After poking around on the Internet, I found lots of good recipes, and tweaked them to come up with my own version.  If you're on Weight Watchers, these dainty desserts are only one point each. 

Mini Key Lime Cups

• 2 limes, zested
• 75 frozen mini phyllo cups (5 packages, 15-count)
• 8 oz container Lite Cool Whip
• 6 oz can frozen limeade concentrate (not thawed)

• 14 oz can fat free sweetened condensed milk

Pour limeade and condensed milk into large bowl and blend together with mixer on medium speed.  Gently fold in entire container of Cool Whip.  Cover and refrigerate for approximately three hours.  Once filling is set, spoon small amounts into piping bag with large tip.  Pipe filling into phyllo cups.  Garnish with lime zest.

*Chef's Note: If you're transporting these, be sure to keep the boxes, plastic containers, and protective covers that come with the phyllo cups.  The cups are individually separated, so keep them in the container while filling them.  Then fold the protective cover back over the top, and slide the container back into the box. Perfect portability!

Watermelon 5K

 

I did something this morning that I haven't done in 10 years.  I walked a 5K race.  HOLLA!  For the past few months, I've been walking about three miles on a somewhat consistent basis, and felt it was time to challenge myself. So off I went to trackshack.com and signed up for their annual July 4th Watermelon 5K.  I thought it would be just like my normal walks around Lake Underhill, but it was much more difficult.  There were hills, brick roads, sun (I usually walk at night).  Anyhoo..I was huffin and puffin, and my face was beet red.  But I finished.  And with a decent time too - right around 52m/30s. 

It was encouraging to see such a diverse crowd participating.  I saw 5-year old kids, retirees, skinny minis, and people with a decent amount of weight to lose.  It was so inspiring to see 3000+ peeps in one place doing something healthy.  We rocked it! 

Some of my walking buddies - Karen and Doris.

 

Watermelon dude interviewing one of the younger participants.

 

Florida's Watermelon Queen at the Wounded Warrior Regiment booth.

 

Everyone feasts on fresh cold watermelon after the race.

This 5K re-energized me to continue my journey of health and physical well being.  If you live in Central Florida, check out some of Track Shack's races.  They have year-round events.  Maybe I'll see you there next time.  Happy Fourth of July!  

My First Tomato

Voila!  My first home grown tomato.  Technically, this is my third tomato.  The first two were devoured by a ravenous, vile, larvae which I've determined is a cutworm.  I was so proud of my first two babies. They were red and plump.  Lookin fine and perfect for picking.  But my supreme farmer instincts encouraged me to leave them on the vine just a few days more.   I was greedy for those luscious, 100% vine-ripe tomatoes.  No kitchen counter ripening in this household.  No sirree, Bob.  And that's when they were attacked.  I would have taken a picture, but I was so traumatized by the sight of this cutworm creature that I damn near had a breakdown. 

Shortly after my first borns were destroyed, I discovered a tweener tomato evolving from green to red.  Hooray, I thought.  Finally.  After all these weeks of nurturing, I was close to enjoying my very own tomato.  I watched it quite carefully, and picked it just a few days after it made the crimson turn. 

I want to be proud of this pitiful piece of fruit...or vegetable..or whatever.  But it has this jagged streak down the side, where it separated from itself.  I'm not sure it's safe to eat?  Guess this is where Google comes in handy again.  *sigh* 

The good news is that I have lots more mini tomatos sprouting up.  Hopefully I haven't poisoned them with the large amount of pesticide I've sprayed since the cutworm episode.  So much for organic produce.  Feel free to share any tomato advice you have.  I clearly need it.